Last year about this time, my lease was renewing. I had been living in my apartment for a year at that point and for that first year that I had lived here, I had not settled in. I had almost no furniture, I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and was kind of just in limbo – not committing to being where I was and not committing to being somewhere else. I thought that I wasn’t going to stay here. I thought this was temporary. I didn’t want to stay here. I thought there was someplace better out there. I thought I’d be happier somewhere else.
When it came time to renew my lease, I decided that I’d move to a city about an hour and a half away. I found lots of reasons why that was a good idea – it was less expensive, there was a coworking space there, I knew some people there. I was encouraged by my coach at the time to take the leap. I thought these things would make me happier. I told my leasing agent that I’d be moving and I wasn’t going to be renewing my lease.
That evening I listened to an Abraham Hicks YouTube video on moving. I forget which video it was or I’d share a link to it. Anyway, their answers are always the same. In that video, they said if you aren’t happy where you are now, you won’t be happy where you’re going. Get happy first and then move.
I might’ve cried, said “fuck,” and decided to stay. I decided to stay and work on being happy where I was. I told my leasing agent nevermind, bought some furniture, settled in.
A year later, I’m starting to date a bit more and finding myself telling people that I do really love living here. I have the greatest little balcony with a big giant tree right next to it. The balcony feels kind of like a treehouse if you forget the fact it’s attached to a building. The view out the window is of these really green trees. The people here are amazing. There’s a beautiful pool. There are amazing parks within a thirty-minute drive. There’s even one half a mile down the road. My family is close by.
I’m sharing this because so often we think the problem is out there – the circumstances of our lives – the location of our home, our jobs or careers, the amount of money in the bank, whatever.
And the problem is never out there. The problem is always in how we’re thinking about those things. It’s the thoughts that cause the pain, not the circumstances.
And when we think it’s the circumstances that are the problem, we will never find the solution. Because the solution isn’t out there. It’s internal.